Women as Leaders of Their Own Lives

We are expected to handle it all – careers, families, relationships, and personal well-being. The pressure to “do a good job” in every area of life can be exhausting. That is why it’s so powerful to become leaders in our own lives. When you step into being the leader of your own life – it’s not just about work – it’s about making empowered choices in all areas of your life. It means no more ignoring what you need.
Many women put their own needs last, sacrificing rest, joy, and self-care to keep up with the endless demands of each day. This non-stop focus can lead to increased stress and anxiety. The American Psychological Association reports that women experience stress and anxiety at more than twice the rate of men. The mental load and emotional and domestic responsibilities take a toll. So how can you step into being a leader in your own life?

We live in a world that insists we can manage everything. Society has expectations, but success is personal. Identify what success looks like for you—career, relationships, well-being. True success isn’t about doing more. It’s about living a life that is aligned with your values.
Once you define what truly matters to you, not what others expect you are on your way to leading in your own life. Your success might mean building a career, nurturing deep relationships, prioritizing mental and physical health creating a healthy balance between them all. It might mean leaving your corporate job to start your own business or starting a new habit to strengthen your mental health.
The key is to let go of the pressure to meet unrealistic standards. Focus on what brings you fulfillment. What makes you feel accomplished? When you define success on your terms, you may find your goals and priorities change.

Now that your goals and priorities are clear and you know what success looks like in your life, it is time to set some clear boundaries. Being a leader in your own life means deciding what you allow in your life.
Say no to what drains you. Say yes to what aligns with your values. Society will fill your plate if you let it. Whether it’s an extra assignment at work or a volunteer opportunity somewhere you love – you must start deciding what stays and what goes.
One priority that often goes by the wayside is good rest. How many times have your sacrificed sleep to finish that project, help that friend or be there for your family? Resting might seem complex for high achievers but granting ourselves permission to pause for our own wellbeing is essential. I share more about that in this blog on women’s rest.
Clear boundaries might take practice at first. Saying no doesn’t always come easy to leaders. You may want to practice firm but kind boundary-setting statements like: “Thank you for thinking of me – I’m not available. I hope your project is a huge success.”

Leaning into your confidence is critical when you take a leadership role in your own life. If you tend to doubt or second guess yourself this is an area you’ll need to grow in to succeed. Think to your past and a decision you made that worked out well. Can you think of a time when you were afraid to make a decision, but you made the hard call and things worked out beautifully? Use that memory as an encouragement. Trust your instincts and remember your successes.

Leaders advocate for themselves and their values. Whether in work, relationships or health speaking up for what you need is powerful. As someone who typically is helping others this might feel foreign to you. Advocating for yourself – not your project – not your family – just you – might be something you just haven’t done regularly. The perfect way to practice this skill is to role play conversations where you can assert yourself. Role play asking for a raise or expressing an unmet need in your relationship so when the real-world opportunity arises you will be ready.

The good news is that true leadership isn’t about doing things alone. That’s why it is so critical to surround yourself with people who will lift you up and challenge you. You may think of support systems for different sectors of your life. Whether you’re focused on finances, health, your relationship or a hobby you’re just starting – different support systems will help you.
Seek out mentors, coaches or communities that align with your priorities, support your growth and help you on your journey. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that leaders are solo acts. Build the support systems you need to create the life you seek

Our past challenges, including success and failures, are part of our journey. Embracing our experience and owning our story can shift our thinking from being focused on a victim mentality to being empowered. As the leader in your own life this is a critical step. You may feel shame or doubt about owning your own story when in truth, that is what shaped you. Journaling can help with this. Use this journal prompt if owning your own story is a challenge for you. How has a past struggle shaped your strength today?

You are already leading in so many ways you may not realize. Taking that extra step to being the leader in your own life can shift everything. As you build your leadership with small intentional steps you will begin to see your life unfold on your terms as you move towards your goals.
If you’re ready to become the leader in your own life I’m here to help. Let’s work together to develop customized strategies that align with your style and goals. By embracing leadership as part of your strategy at home as well as at work, you can transform your daily life to reflect your own values. Perhaps the best place to start is to ask what’s one area where you’ll start leading today?