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Collaborative Divorce and Parenting Coordination

“Caring is the ultimate competitive advantage.”
~ Ron Kendrick

The time has come… as much as you resisted, you and your partner have decided that divorce is the best option for your family. You’re sad for your relationship, but you have accepted the path of divorce. You have heard and understand that divorce is never easy, but you would like it to be as less stressful as it can be and work amicably with your soon to be ex. If you would like to have more control over your divorce, communicate in a healthy way through the divorce process, work through a parenting plan amicably and figure out next steps in a safe place, working with a Collaborative Divorce Coach is enormously helpful.

What if divorce doesn’t have to be that way?

The splitting of a family from one into two doesn’t have to be the traumatic and dramatic nightmare for your family that keeps you up at night. When both parents are committed to doing what’s best for the children, the divorce process and subsequent co-parenting relationship can be collaborative and amicable.

As a Certified Collaborative Divorce Coach, Licensed Psychotherapist and former attorney, I have helped many divorcing couples successfully navigate the journey through divorce and the establishment of a positive co-parenting partnership in the following ways:

  • Help divorcing couple reduce the tension and increase the communication before, during, and after the divorce process, as well as help facilitate closure and healing.
  • Support each person in the couple to jointly manage their feelings and emotional reactivity during the divorce process.
  • Collaborate with both partners to  create vital agreements such as a parenting plan or figuring out an interim or final plan for finances, by working through what may be holding each spouse back.
  • Develop communication strategies and diffuse antagonism and conflict during the before, during, and after the divorce process.
  • Provide the tools for parents to shift from negative communication patterns to productive co-parenting communication skills.
  • Help each parent learn effective parenting techniques to maintain the child/children’s best interests at the forefront.
  • Promote working effectively and as a collaborative team with your respective attorneys and move the process forward where you may be stuck.

How do we co-parent after the divorce is final?

As a divorced couple, establishing a healthy co-parenting relationship rooted in trust and communication is imperative for the well-being of your kids. Whether you’re just beginning the divorice process or your divorce happened years ago, you have likely worked out an interim or final parenting plan. In a perfect world, the plan would be black and white and it would be easy for you and your partner to follow it. But you already know that you don’t live in a perfect world. At some point you probably realized that despite the plan, it can sometimes be a struggle to co-parent.

This is not surprising, since it involves some big decision making about all sorts of aspects around your children.

What if the parenting plan is not enough?

If you and your partner struggle to follow the parenting plan, or are not in agreement about things that aren’t addressed in the parenting plan, it’s time to reach out to a co-parenting coach to help you both navigate these rough waters. Though it might not feel like it, it’s important to remember that both of you are committed to doing what’s in the best interest of your children – you just might not agree to what that is!

I work with parents who are struggling to develop a productive co-parent partnership and help the parents find solutions for either “day to day” parenting issues that come up or overall management of their parenting plan. Working with me to improve the co-parenting relationship takes the stress away and allows you and your partner to focus on your kids and what is in their best interest. When we work together, we will focus our efforts to:

  • Reduce stress and emotional burden on you and your children.
  • Develop better parent communication which has modeled better problem solving and communication skills for your children.
  • Help to make the right and healthier decisions for your children.
  • Spend more time with your children instead of being stuck in conflict.

I work with parent-requested and lawyers who may find a parenting coordinator would serve the best interest of the children and clients.

My approach, including frequency, depends on what you may need. Options may be, but are not limited to:

  • Weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly check-ins to address issues and provide coordination of issues that may arise.
  • Short-term focused sessions (frequency to be determined) to address a highly conflictual issue or issues.

Divorce and co-parenting are hard especially when emotions run high.  I’m here to help you and your partner navigate this transition in a meaningful and respectful way that provides a stable foundation for your kids to start this new chapter of their lives.  Contact me to talk about how I can help.

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