Feeling like an imposter? You are not alone. Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people experience feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy despite external evidence of their competence and success. This feeling can be pervasive, affecting relationships and how we interact with our partners, friends, and family members. Let’s look at how this phenomenon can affect our relationships and what can be done about it.
Impact on Communication
Imposter syndrome can have a huge impact on communication, causing us to hold back from expressing our true thoughts and feelings in conversations with others. We may also feel inadequate to engage in healthy debate or discussions because we are afraid of being seen as ignorant or inexperienced. Consequently, we may shy away from these types of conversations altogether. As a result, important issues that need to be discussed may go unresolved, leading to more tension between the parties involved.
Impact on Self-Esteem
Imposter syndrome also has a negative impact on our self-esteem. We may think that no one else understands us or that we are not good enough for them, leading us to distance ourselves from those around us. This lack of social connection can lead us to feel even more isolated and anxious, further damaging our sense of self-worth. For those who suffer from imposter syndrome, it is important to seek out help so that they can work through these feelings and build healthier relationships with those around them.
Impact on Relationships
Finally, imposter syndrome can also have an impact on personal relationships by creating a cycle of self-doubt that leads to unhelpful interaction patterns with friends and loved ones. In order for relationships to thrive, both parties must be able to communicate openly without fear of judgment or criticism. However, when one person feels like an imposter in their relationship due to low self-esteem or poor communication skills, this dynamic can lead to frustration for both parties involved as well as a lack of connection between them.
In addition, imposter syndrome often causes people to believe that they are not worthy of success or praise. This lack of self-esteem can cause us to be overly critical of ourselves and our actions, leading us to feel isolated from those around us. As a result, we may avoid close relationships or find ourselves in difficult ones in which we are constantly questioning our worthiness. We may also have a hard time falling into a pattern of people-pleasing. I wrote a short blog about how to recognize the signs of being a people pleaser here.
Imposter syndrome does not have to define your relationships; there are steps you can take toward understanding the roots of your feelings and improving communication with your partner or loved one so that you both feel connected and secure in the relationship without feeling inadequate or insecure about yourself.
Here are some tips on how to overcome imposter syndrome and create a healthy relationship.
First work on communicating effectively. One of the most important things you can do to overcome imposter syndrome is to communicate effectively with your partner. Talk openly about your worries and fears, as well as any negative thoughts or emotions you may be feeling. Acknowledging these worries will help both of you feel more connected and allow for more understanding between the two of you.
Secondly, you can set healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries is essential for any relationship to work, especially when impostor syndrome is present. Knowing where each person stands on certain issues can help prevent misunderstandings from occurring that could further exacerbate the problem. Additionally, setting boundaries allows for more respect within the marriage, which will help reduce any feelings of inadequacy or insecurity.
Third I recommend that you try to be honest about your feelings. Being honest with yourself and your partner about how you feel is essential when it comes to overcoming imposter syndrome. Many people tend to bottle up their feelings until they reach a breaking point – by being honest early on, both people can come to an understanding sooner rather than later. Additionally, being honest with yourself helps make sure that whatever steps you take toward overcoming imposter syndrome are done out of genuine care for yourself and not just out of obligation or guilt.
If this blog spoke to you, I recommend you check out Brene Brown’s “I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)” from my book club here. If you are struggling with imposter syndrome, it is important to reach out for help so that you can learn how to manage these feelings before they become too overwhelming and begin affecting your life negatively in other ways such as impacting your relationships with others around you! So, if you need support overcoming imposter syndrome, you can connect with me here. As I always say- embrace the journey.
